Defintion of Bullying for Kids

Definition of Bullying for Kids

We all have experienced feelings of discomfort in a group setting at some point. Adults may or may not immediately understand why you felt ill at ease. Never the less, grown-ups possess the maturity to reflect on the situation and figure out what is causing a problem. Most children are eager to make new friends and enjoy talking or playing in groups. Unfortunately, kids do not always understand conflict when it occurs.  They may not readily understand the difference between a friend and a bully. Therefore, it is important to discuss a definition of bullying for kids that is simple and easily understood.  As a parent, you want to provide your child with the emotional support, which assists him or her to get through conflict with friends and classmates.  

A starting point to help your child understand the definition of bullying is providing him with a working knowledge of what it is and how bullying occurs. The Anti-bullying Alliance (ABA) www.anti-bullyingalliance.org describes the definition of bullying as the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Adults may want to simplify a definition of bullying for kids by breaking down parts of the definition into simple terms.  Repetitive and intentional hurting involves performing a mean, physical, or verbal actions or frequently making rude comments.   An example of bullying that involves physical actions includes repeatedly throwing an object or hitting someone. There are resources in various formats available to explain the definition of bullying to kids such as YouTube videos: https://youtu.be/lKz3bcFMhO. There are other examples in electronic format that can be useful in assisting adults to explain the definition of bullying to kids.

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We all have experienced feelings of discomfort in a group setting at some point. Adults may or may not immediately understand why you felt ill at ease. Never the less, grown-ups possess the maturity to reflect on the situation and figure out what is causing a problem. Most children are eager to make new friends and enjoy talking or playing in groups. Unfortunately, kids do not always understand conflict when it occurs.  They may not readily understand the difference between a friend and a bully. Therefore, it is important to discuss a definition of bullying for kids that is simple and easily understood.  As a parent, you want to provide your child with the emotional support, which assists him or her to get through conflict with friends and classmates.   A starting point to help your child understand the definition of bullying is providing him with a working knowledge of what it is and how bullying occurs. The Anti-bullying Alliance (ABA) www.anti-bullyingalliance.org describes the definition of bullying as the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Adults may want to simplify a definition of bullying for kids by breaking down parts of the definition into simple terms.  Repetitive and intentional hurting involves performing a mean, physical, or verbal actions or frequently making rude comments.   An example of bullying that involves physical actions includes repeatedly throwing an object or hitting someone. There are resources in various formats available to explain the definition of bullying to kids such as YouTube videos: https://youtu.be/lKz3bcFMhO. There are other examples in electronic format that can be useful in assisting adults to explain the definition of bullying to kids.

Parents and other responsible adults should help kids to feel secure in their ability to report bullying when it occurs. Ask your child if there is a person who teases, hits or calls them names.  You can assess his response by following up periodically to find out if this problem frequently occurs and appears to be more than teasing.  This Pinterest link contains resources that can be used to help kids to connect as pen pals and understand the definition of bullying: https://www.pinterest.com/source/amazing-kids.org/. Bullying is a three-fold problem that involves verbal, physical, and emotional harassment.  The first two components of bullying are quickly felt and easily detected by the victim, bystanders, and onlookers. It is simple to identify when someone has said something hurtful and lashed out in a harmful physical way.   Emotional pain experienced by a victim of bullying cannot be readily seen but has the potential to be long lasting. Kids need to learn how to get along with others in social situations and parents can be there first social etiquette teachers. It is important to talk to younger children about how they are feeling inside and how mean actions hurt others too.  There is a large body of research-based information generated by the federal government, which provides a sound definition of bullying for individuals of all ages.  The stopbullying.gov website is extremely informative and contains information relevant to understanding the definition of bullying for kids:   http://www.stopbullying.gov/blog/2013/01/03/teaching-social-skills-to-prevent-bullying-in-young-children.  The problems associated with bullying should not be minimized and we must share messages that speak out against the negative effects of bullying.

How Mentoring Helps to Minimize Bullying and Why Mentoring is Important for all Ages

How Mentoring Helps Minimize Bullying and
Why Mentoring is Important for All Ages                                                                            

 

 

 

 Mentors working with youngsters can assist them with schoolwork, team or sports activities, or home issues.  Mentors act as a sounding board for individuals to share their problems, goals, and dreams. It is a great feeling to know that someone is waiting in the wings to offer you an unbiased listening ear or a caring word of support.  Mentoring serves as a support-mechanism to bolster or renew an individual’s confidence when things are not going as planned.  Throughout life there are challenging times demand perseverance.  The willingness to act as a counsel who assists an individual through “the hard times” is why mentoring is important for people of all ages.  Understanding why mentoring is important is a helpful strategy for use toward building better schools, businesses, churches and communities.    A national mentoring partnership organization “Mentor”, www.mentoring.org  gives a general overview of the benefits of mentoring.

 

Mentors who connect with others in schools and businesses help to promote academic or professional success for the mentee.  A mentor can step in to help when an individual feels shaky or unsure of their next course of action.  Everyone deserves to have a sense of belonging and acceptance. As we know, there are situations where some individuals may feel excluded, isolated, and ignored. Eliminating exclusionary feelings is another reason why mentoring is important for all ages. Bullying creates a feeling of loneliness, isolation and exclusion.   A creative and effective way to ease the pain and social isolation of bullying is to link a child with a positive, caring adult mentor.

Mentors interact with students or mentees by acting as tutors, coaches, dance or martial art instructors, and form trusting relationships while reinforcing skills. Youngsters feel comfortable interacting and communicating with their mentors who may unknowingly become the first line of support for children who are bullied. Additionally, an effective mentor may be the first adult to notice changes in the child’s behavior, appearance, or attendance that sends a warning that bullying or something negative is occurring.

Mentors who interact in the school environment serve as another set of eyes and ears to observe group interactions and behaviors.  A mentor’s presence helps to validate what is actually happening on athletic fields or at other times when children gather in large or small groups.  Matching a mentor with the child who is a bully is a powerful dose of prevention.  We often think of finding a mentor or friend for the victim but fail to consider the power of linking a bully with someone who exhibits courtesy and kindness.   A mentor has the potential to make a positive impression on the bully by demonstrating and delivering appropriate actions, corrective advice and concern. 

People need to feel the sense of belonging and this factor is why mentoring is important for all ages.  Information about mentoring for children and adolescents can be found at www.youth.gov .
 A mentor is a knowledgeable teacher, counsel, or coach who provides support for an individual's extra-curricular, personal, or professional endeavors.  A mentor supports an inexperienced person to make good decisions and choices related to work and daily life. There are many reasons why mentoring is important for people of all ages.   We have all been there --- in a place or situation where we were unsure as to how to proceed.  There are moments in life when we have felt unsure and doubted our abilities.  In addition to being the victim of bullying there are other trying and unpleasant times. Examples of difficult times might include being the new kid at school, waiting to be included in a group activity,  going away to college or starting a new job.  A mentor can assist you understanding your feelings by discussing and identifying the issues.

Mentoring is often a key component of career advancement. Female professionals may have  experienced  limited access to the benefits of mentoring.  There is a vast body of research and writing on the topics of bullying and mentoring.  Reviewing various aspects of the topics will help you to understand the importance of mentoring for all.  Mentoring is a win-win process for the victim, the bully and the dedicated adult. 

Why Mentoring is Important

Why Mentoring Is Important

Have you ever wished for an impartial, caring, or thoughtful individual to talk with, unload problems to or simply share your feelings about something important or not?  If you answered yes to any of the circumstances, then you may have benefited from having a mentor. A mentor monitors a person’s behavior or provides guidance and counsel to the individual.   

Perhaps more than ever before, children, adolescents, and young adults are bombarded with information that is difficult to understand and discern.  Young people may not possess the maturity to decipher angry, hostile or even violent content.  Mentors provide invaluable resources that can assist young people in finding their way in a tumultuous world.  Finding a caring adult at a young age can help minimize and even prevent detrimental associations and actions.  Children and teens are crying out for adults to talk with, engage them, and show them the way.  I challenge adults to make time and room in their lives to help the next generation through mentoring.  Effective mentors can serve as tutors, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, or a positive role model.  A caring mentor has the potential to show children how to be a kind, compassionate person.  Mentors can leave a lasting impression and a legacy of caring.

Mentors may also assist their mentee with professional advice or act as a sounding board for questions.  The term mentor is a frequently used buzzword, which describes an experienced individual who interacts with a younger or less experienced mentee, student, or child.  Having a caring unbiased person to talk to gives the young mentee a way to release tension and stress.    Internalizing problems is not a positive or helpful situation for a child or adult to experience.  Creating a positive outlet for discussing issues is a reason why mentoring is important.  An explanation of why mentoring is important and its overall value can be found on the following link http://www.mentoring.org/about_mentor/value_of_mentoring.  Parents spend a great deal of time away from the children with increasingly longer commutes and longer workdays. Mentors help fill the void by providing the listening ear and concern of an adult.  Mentoring is important when serious or permanent circumstances exist in the child’s life such as a parent’s death, incarceration, or physical or emotional detachment. Making a connections with a shy or lonely child is also a reason why mentoring is important and helpful.  Children of all ages and grades can benefit from a mentor’s advice and their positive reinforcement. There are many reasons why mentoring is important in supporting students and families in today’s society.   

 School administrators or guidance counselors coordinate and implement mentoring programs, which provide positive adult role models for students who are having trouble in school.  If your child’s school does not have a formal mentoring program, you might suggest this free information for use as a guide to help get a mentoring program started:   http://www.mentoring.org/downloads/mentoring_415.pdf .  Mentors serve as academic tutors, Lunch Buddy programs participants or interact with students during formal after school programs such as Boys and Girls Club or Big Brothers and Big Sister of America or other organizations.   Check with the school if you feel your child might benefit from a mentor/mentee relationship. If you would like to learn more about the organizations  listed above check out the websites to learn if these groups exist in your community http://www.bgcyc.org/ and  http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16/Home.htm. The links provide a rational and understanding as to why mentoring is important for children to experience.

Lunchtime meetings during the school day provide a mentor time to chat with the student about their progress in school or other problems that might be affecting him.  Mentoring is important because concerned adults are needed to play a committed role in the life of a student who is struggling with personal or academic problems. Students feel special when an adult takes time out of their day to check on them at school.  Many adults who have acted as mentors say there is a surprising reason why mentoring is important to them.  Mentoring provides the mentor with a sense of accomplishment and pride.  In a complicated world there are many reasons why mentoring is important and a valuable activity for children and our community.

Mentors are needed to mitigate bullying and other serious problems facing today's youth.  Caring adults can soothe the heart and mind of a  troubled teen.   Mentoring is an important strategy that can help change the life of one child at a time.  Creating connected, caring youths even has the potential to solve many of the world's problems and conflicts.  Mentoring is an important strategy makes a difference for mentors and the lives they touch.  Imagine how different the life of an angry, disconnected teenager might be enhanced by the caring communication and input provided by a mentor.  Look around your churches,  schools and communities to identify a child or young person in need of a committed and caring mentor.  Becoming a mentor is an extremely important role.  Time spent as a mentor might evolve into a life-changing gift that makes a difference for humanity.  

How to Help a Child Who is Being Bullied

How to Help a Child Who is Being Bullied

Bullying is an age-old problem.  It was once the mistaken belief that bullying is a natural part of growing up. There is a renewed emphasis on creating a safe learning environment for all students.  This link provides supports for the position that bullying is not acceptable or a normal behavior: https://www.justsayyes.org/bullying/is-bullying-normal-behavior/. Bullying harms academic success and injures the emotional well-being of the victim.  In order to help a child who is being bullied parents and educators must be able to identify signs that indicate a problem is taking place. They must be aware of subtle changes in the child’s behavior, which signal bullying.  You should not make comments or actions that appear to blame the victim. Prompt and caring intervention by adults and peers can help a child who is being bullied. 

School personnel should work cooperatively to create a school environment that identifies bullying as an unacceptable behavior.   Students and all members of the school community must have the same understanding about what bullying is in order to identify when it takes place.  Bullying is intentional and repeated verbal, physical, or emotional harassment.  It can involve an imbalance of power including a smaller or younger person who is the recipient of the bullying acts.  Bullying is a major problem and the following link contains a wealth of information that can be used to help a child who is being bullied:  http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/. Victims should remember that bullying does not occur because they did something wrong.  The bully is the person who exhibits inappropriate behavior not the victim. Bullies have a need to appear powerful and often display control and domination over others. The victim should not feel that he is to blame for this problem.   This information should be clearly communicated to minimize the negative emotions associated with victimization.  Positive reinforcement and concern for the victim will help a child who is being bullied to feel they are not alone in this situation.

Everyone in the school community must feel a responsibility to help a child who is being bullied.  There are strategies, which can help a child who is being bullied. Children should be instructed to walk away from the bully.  Remaining in the bully’s presence allows him to continue the intimidation.   A bullied child should avoid being alone. Walking with a friend gives emotional support for the victim and provides another witness when bullying happens:  http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/recognizing_bullying.page.  This simple show of support decreases the bully’s power and helps a child who is being bullied to shake off feelings of loneliness and helplessness.  Documenting the issues by writing down what, when and where the bullying occurs is extremely important.  This list of occurrences can assist school administrators in responding to the bullying behavior and help a child who is being bullied to feel secure in the school environment.

Bullying creates problems throughout the school community… it is everyone’s responsibility to take action to help a child who is being bullied.

Statistics on Bullying in Elementary Schools

                                               Statistics on Bullying in Elementary Schools

Bullying in elementary schools occurs when a bully identifies a perceived physical, social, or emotional characteristic as an obvious difference in one student.  The bully singles out this victim from the other classmates or schoolmates. Statistics on bullying in elementary school indicates that bullying in elementary school occurs with surprising frequency.  Children as young as  kindergarten age may even display bullying behaviors. The bully is keenly aware of the victim’s appearance and zooms in on any physical trait that is perceived as “different”.  This difference might include physical characteristics such as height or weight, or other attributes that a bully defines as a negative item.  The link,  https://antibullyingsoftware.com/school-bullying-statistics/ , contains specific information about statistics on bullying in elementary schools.

Bullies do not place a limit on what they find unusual and almost any characteristic can be negatively described.  For instance, a bully might make repeated comments about a student who is extremely intelligent or  constantly tease the student who struggles academically.  Students who receive academic assistance in a special education class or program are often prime targets of bullying. Take a moment to review the section on statistics about Bullying of Students with Disabilities: http://www.pacer.org/bullying/about/media-kit/stats.asp. This site provides an informative description of statistics on bullying in elementary schools.  Key statistics on bullying in elementary schools and across other age groups are contained on the website. Statistics on bullying in elementary schools related to students with disabilities is limited and more research-based information is needed to address the issue.

 The bully chooses his target through careful observation.  The bully might observe his classmates or students in the school environment to identify someone perceived to have odd or unusual behaviors or physical traits.  Students who are deemed underweight or overweight might be singled out as the recipient of repeated teasing and verbal harassment. A victim’s appearance is a primary reason that he or she might experience victimization and bullying.  Children in all age groups appear consumed with thoughts about their appearance. Girls are becoming increasingly concerned with their weight and physical appearance at a younger age.   Boys may experience teasing about weight or their lack of athleticism. Information is provided in two sections of the link on General Statistics and Weight-based, http://www.pacer.org/bullying/about/media-kit/stats.asp. These sections of the website highlight statistics on weight-based bullying.  Lastly, the bully might single out at a student who is sensitive, shy, kind, quiet, or simply perceived as “weak”.  Bullies use almost any reason to identify and intimidate their next victim. It is crucial that educators and researchers continue to collect statistics on bullying in elementary schools.   Careful review of students’ responses about bullying and victimization will lead to a clearer understanding of the statistics on bullying in elementary schools.

 

Consequences of Bullying in Schools

  

Consequences of Bullying in Schools

It is no shock that bullying presents negative effects for the victim and recipient of on-going verbal, physical, or emotional harassment.

Children who are bullied often tell their parents about physical ailments and complaints. A few examples of   ailments identified by a child who is bullied include anxiousness, stomach pains, headaches, and the inability to sleep.  Parents should be aware when their child begins to complain with phantom aches and  pains as an excuse to miss school.  Increased complaints from a child indicating physical ailments and instances of illness are consequences of bullying in schools. Take a moment to review this website which provides valuable information on bullying:  http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects/

 Frequent absenteeism from school becomes a way for the victim to escape the bully and avoid the unpleasant, intimidating atmosphere of the classroom and school environment. Bullied children typically try to avoid going to the place where they experience negative actions and discomfort.  Imagine being a child who feels this type of discomfort at a required activity such as school. Most adults have experienced at least one situation where you felt ill at ease or unwelcome in a group.  The bullied student misses valuable instructional time  which causes a higher rate of absenteeism from school and decreases the students' time learning important content.  Increased or excessive absenteeism and a general dislike for school are consequences of bullying in school. 

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The consequences of bullying in school have far-reaching effects on many other individuals in addition to the victim.  Bullying in a school environment detracts from a teacher’s ability to teach.  Bullying  also interferes with students’ ability to focus on learning. Bullying creates a negative school culture and fosters fear.  Students are afraid to move freely within the school walls and cautiously enter loosely supervised areas such as the restrooms, cafeteria, and playground areas.  Lunch is a prime time for bullying.  Loneliness, isolation, and alienation are negative aspects that can be identified as consequences of bullying in school.

None of us enjoys feeling like the outsider or being the recipient of taunting, name-calling, or isolation. These acts causes the victim to internalize negative feelings and possibly become fearful or angry.  Eventually, this fear and anger can lead to retaliation, which may prompt the victim to harass or intimidate other children. Unfortunately, the consequences of bullying have the potential to last well beyond the mean spirited-acts.  Conscious intervention by adults can decrease the negative effects and consequences of bullying in schools. 

It is important that school personnel diligently work to create a caring learning environment for all students in order to minimize the consequences of bullying in schools.

 

Stop Bullying in Elementary Schools

Students are probably comfortable with the routines of a new school year, different teachers, and classmates. Nonetheless, it is never too early in the school year to be concerned about the possibility of bullying behavior.  Students, teachers, and parents should pause and think about  problems or situations they can improve.   Parents usually ask their children if they like their teachers and wonder if they are having any academic issues.  Don't forget to ask your child if he or she feels safe, uneasy, secure or happy at school.  A parent can be their child's first line of defense in  the effort to  identify and stop bullying in elementary schools.

Most students follow the  school rules without difficulty. Realistically,  there are times when students display behaviors which do not meet the expectations of  the school rules. Sometimes the violation of school rules includes exhibiting bullying behaviors.  It is important to identify and stop bullying before it takes root in elementary schools. 

Parents can help children to understand when bullying is happening. A generally accepted definition of bullying is repeated acts of verbal, physical or written aggressive actions by peers or groups of peers.  If your child complains about repeated mean comments, hitting or pushing, he or she might be experiencing bullying. It is important that all members of the school community have the same awareness of what bullying is in order to understand and stop bullying when it occurs.

Identifying when bullying is  happening is the first step in stopping bullying in elementary schools.  Schools officials are expected to provide a safe learning environment.  Preventing and stopping bullying is a key component of maintaining school safety.

Ask your child's teacher, counselor or principal if they are using a special curriculum or program to respond to and stop bullying.  The Olweus Bullying Prevention Program www.olweus.org  is a widely used anti-bullying program implemented in elementary and middle schools in the U.S. and other countries.  Research on bullying has been conducted in an attempt to find solutions which prevent, identify and stop bullying.  Information can be found at http://www.stopbullying.gov . These  websites are good starting points in your effort to prevent and stop bullying in elementary schools. 

• 10 Steps to Stop and Prevent Bullying
• 10 Ways to Help Reduce Bullying in Schools

School officials, teachers, students and parents must work together to stop bullying in elementary schools.